Friday, August 28, 2009

Topic 4: The Obsessed Fantasy Football "Player"

Okay, here's the quick rundown of how a traditional fantasy football league works:

1. A "commissioner" starts a league on one of the many sites that let you play fantasy football now and invites friends to come join and play, or one can join a complete random league of consisting usually of around 10-12 players.
2. Once August hits, the fantasy drafts begin. These guys sit down sweating it out rattling off names of the players that will make their team for the season.
3. The season follows the progression of the NFL regular season, with the NFL players' stats counting as points for the fantasy player's "teams" as they charge for the ultimate trophy as Fantasy Football League Champion. was hard to keep my heavy sarcasm out of that dry description, but these people who obsess over fantasy football are hilarious. Especially the guys who really think it's a sport. They are amazing, sitting there planning and replanning their team, shuffling draft picks, deciding on trades, and so on and so on. Okay guys. There's no coaches, no actual games, no playbooks. Hell, there aren't even any cheerleaders. You sit, flipping through your insanely expensive NFL Sunday Pass package on satellite to watch your players rack up stats to be the points for your team. Seriously? Do you guys put this on your resume? I love the groups that rent out the local bar or Hooters to hold their fantasy draft, as if this event really is that important. Please, just stay at home and click the "Pick" button on your computer. It lets the rest of rest a little easier knowing your not polluting the public air space.

No comments:

Post a Comment